Far, Far Away in a Parallel Universe
by Angel On Death Row
Summary: A genderbent Doctor/River shipping drabble. Male!River/Fem!Doctor
1. Flirting

"This is my friend, River. Nice hair, clever, has his own gun, and, unlike me, he really doesn't mind shooting people. I shouldn't like that," she turned and looked at him, biting her lip a bit as she grinned. "Kind of do a bit," she said. He nodded as a small smirk appeared on his face, his arm and gun outstretched towards the Silence. "Thank you, sweetie." She turned back towards the threat. "I know you're team players and everything," she continued, "but he'll definitely kill at least the first three of you." River backs up behind her and they stood like that, back to back. "Oh, the first seven, easily." He said. "Seven? Really?" She asked. "Oh, eight for you, honey." River replied mischievously. "Stop it." She told him. His head dipped back towards her, his curls dropped down and brushing against the top of her head. "Make me." He told the Time Lord. "Yeah, well maybe I will." The Doctor replied playfully. Amy made a noise of annoyance in the back of her throat. "Flirting?" She snapped, leaning forward. "They're holding me hostage and you two are flirting?" The Doctor opened her mouth to say something but Amy holds her wrists up and shakes them, making the restraints around them rattle. "Oh, right. Sorry." The Time Lady told her friend.


	2. Flirting Again

"Be careful." The Doctor told River as he climbed down into the mysterious tunnels. "I tried that once, it's ever so dull." He replied. "If we need something, we'll just shout." The Doctor said to him. "Oh yes, 'cause you're quite the screamer." River said suggestively. He climbed down the ladder with a smirk. "Now there's a spoiler for all of you!" He shouted, as he listened to the Doctor stutter and protest saying that she had no idea what he was talking about.


	3. First Kiss

The Doctor turned and began to walk back to her TARDIS. "What, that's it? Aren't you forgetting something?" River asked, his voice playful as he leaned against the door of his cell. The Doctor turned around confused. She began to walk back. "I don't think so-" She began to say before River placed a finger over her mouth in order to shush her. "Oh, shut up." The blonde man told her as his lips crashed into hers. The Doctor's eyes went wide as River placed one hand on her lower back pulling her closer. The Time Lord fidgeted and awkwardly tried to find someplace to put her hands, but didn't want to break the kiss. She ultimately gave up and placed one of her hands on River's shoulder blade nervously. River pulled away slowly. The Doctor, still shocked, felt her vocabulary escape her. "Well, that was... unexpected." She stated breathlessly. "You mean we've never done that before?" River questioned in a tone that bordered between shock and sadness. The alien woman backed away towards the TARDIS, not taking her eyes off of River. "No... But it was... nice..." The Doctor told him shakily. She then turned around and darted into the TARDIS. As soon as she shut the doors, she leaned against them, and placed her fingertips to her lips. They still tingled from the kiss. "Who are you to me?" She asked River, although she knew he couldn't hear her. "Who are you...?"


	4. The Dalek

River Song felt many feeling flow through him as the Dalek that killed his precious Doctor approached him. "Records indicate you will show mercy; You are an associate of the Doctor's." The Dalek stated, but river picked up an emotion in its supposedly emotionless existence: He heard fear. He enjoyed hearing that shred of terror lace the Dalek's choppy mechanical voice. River grinned murderously, and set his gun to the one setting that he deemed suitable for this particular Dalek; kill. "I'm River Song, check your records again." He nearly growled at the alien, a mask of seriousness covering his face. "Mercy!" The Dalek cried. River's glare intensified. "Say it again." River commanded in a tone that would have frightened the Master, had he been there. "Mercy!" The Dalek pleaded once again, sounding even more desperate and frightened. "One more time." River dared the mechanical alien. "MERCY!" The Dalek screamed one last time. "Where's the Dalek?" Amy asked River as he walked out of one of the museum's hallways and right past her and Rory. "It died." He replied coldly and proceeded to walk in the opposite direction of the two humans.


	5. The Death of a Fez

"Alright, I've got questions, but number one is this: What, in the name of sanity, have you got on your head?" River demanded looking at the Doctor. Everyone's eyes shifted to the Time Lady. She then turned to face River defiantly. "It's a fez. I wear a fez now." The woman said smoothly. "Fezs are cool." River looked to Amy with an amused look on his face. Amy grinned mischievously, before snatching the absurd hat off of the Doctor's head and throwing it an impressive distance away from the alien. River then pulled out his gun and shot it in mid-air. The Doctor watched helplessly as the pieces of her destroyed fez fell slowly to earth. "My fez..." She whined.


	6. Sonic

The Doctor was watching River mess with some archaeologist divice. 'He does look dashing...' The Time Lady thought to herself before snapping out of her trance like state. "Hey, Doctor, can you sonic me?" River shouted. The Doctor sighed before pulling out her sonic screwdriver and pointing it at the device the River was holding. "Thank you, sweetie." He said and continued messing with the device. Amy placed a hand on the other woman's shoulder. "Oh Doctor, you soniced him..." She whispered in the Doctor's ear like a dirty joke, and her face lit up like a wild fire.


	7. Helping

"What are you doing?!" River shouted over the sound of his gunfire and the sound of the Doctor's sonic screwdriver. "Helping!" The Doctor replied loudly. "You've got a screwdriver! Go put up some cabinets or something!" River told her, a small smirk on his face. "That was really, really rude!" The woman yelled back at him sounding slightly offended. "Oh, shut up and drive!" He shouted and gave her a slight push toward the direction of the TARDIS.


	8. More Flirting

"And Doctor Song, you've got that face on again." The Doctor told him with a smirk. "What face?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow. "The 'she's hot when she's clever' face." The explained with a massive grin. River look confused. "But this is my normal face." He said. "Yes, it is." The Doctor said with obvious laughter lacing her voice. River's eyes lit up with amusement. "Oh, shut up!" He chuckled with an eye roll. "But, it is true..." He whispered in her ear before walking off to keep an eye on Amy.


End file.
